Doubts and Confusion
by Kagedtiger
Summary: A brief little companion piece to Training. Takes place in the same 'verse, with the same OC. If you haven't read Training, I'd suggest reading that first, or this won't make too much sense. Takes place between the last chapter and the epilogue of that fi


Doubts and Confusion 

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**Notes/Disclaimer: Dinotopia does not belong to me. Based on the movie, NOT the mini-series. Also, based on my other fic, Training. Read that one first, or you'll have no idea what's going on. This takes place between the last chapter and the epilogue of that fic. **  
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Word that they were sleeping together got around surprisingly quickly. Well, maybe not so much 'surprisingly.' It was a very tight community, after all. Still David felt a little taken off-guard when he was slammed into violently from behind and an incredulous voice screeched, "You're _sleeping_ with _Sebastian_!"

For a split second, David was sure that this was going to be a hate crime, that he was going to be gay-bashed, his remains tossed into the canyon. But then he saw blond hair falling over his shoulder and belatedly recognized the voice of Romana Dennison.

With some effort, he pried her grip of steel off of his waist and turned to face her. She was glaring at him. David was slightly confused. Why was she mad? Unless Sebastian had exaggerated after all, and not everyone in Dinotopia was as comfortable with same-sex relationships as he implied.

Romana pointed an accusing finger under his nose. "You're _sleeping_ with _Sebastian_," she repeated, "and you didn't _tell me_! I had to find it out second-hand from some rumor!"

Oh. Well that explained her anger. David felt himself starting to blush again, like he always did whenever the subject of his relationship with Sebastian came up. "Sorry?" he said weakly.

"You'd better be!" Romana scolded. Then she grabbed his hand and dragged him towards the mess hall; it was almost lunch time. "And now you're going to sit down and tell me everything."

David felt a little bewildered. Everything? Definitely not. There were certain things you just didn't talk about outside the bedroom. Or even inside the bedroom; usually it was more the doing that was important, rather than the talking about. He felt his face starting to heat up again and sighed as he shuffled after Romana. This was really going to take some getting used to.

They got their food in silence, then sat down in a corner of the still mostly empty room, away from the few other early eaters. David breathed an inward sigh of relief; he may have owed Romana an explanation, but that didn't mean that he wanted everyone and his brother listening in.

"I can't believe we've been back a week and I didn't notice you weren't sleeping in your own room," Romana huffed.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," David apologized again. "This whole thing is kind of… new for me. Sebastian is… well, he's…" David glanced around to make sure no one could hear them, then lowered his voice anyway. "He's my first, okay? And I haven't really told anyone, other than my family before they left. It's just that I guess some people have noticed me going into his room at night, and rumors spread pretty quickly around here."

"But it's true, right?" said Romana breathlessly, her eyes sparkling. "You _are_ sleeping with him?"

David blushed and chewed on a piece of bread. Swallowed it. "Yes Romana. I'm sleeping with him."

He could tell by her beaming grin that it was only because she was a well-trained Skybax cadet that she did not squeal with joy. "When did it start? When you two were out training?"

"Ah, well, not exactly. That is to say, er…" he paused, trying to think about how he wanted to phrase this. "We didn't start sleeping together during training. I mean, stuff happened out there, mostly stuff I wasn't ready for, but we didn't actually start sleeping together until the night of the assignment announcements."

"When you knew you'd get to stay together," Romana logically concluded.

"That was a big part of it," said David.

Romana smiled and took a bite of her salad. "It's going to be difficult for you guys," she said around a mouthful of greens. "Him being your commanding officer and all. You're probably going to get a lot of grief for it. You know, people harping about favoritism and special attention and all that."

"Well, no relationship is perfect," said David, but in reality, he was worried; he hadn't really thought about that before. Well, he supposed it couldn't be tougher than he had originally thought it would be, back when he hadn't known that same-sex pairings were pretty routine and accepted in Dinotopia. That helped.

"Is he good in bed?"

David nearly choked on his drink, spitting it back into his cup and coughing. He coughed so hard that some people from the other tables turned to look at him with concern. He waved them off. When he could breathe again, he whispered hoarsely, "Are you _serious_?"

"Of course!" said Romana. "He's on top, right? He would have to be. I mean, no offense to you of course. But he is the White Squad leader and all, so he must have kind of a, hmm, a _leading_ personality."

David massaged his temples, pretty sure that his face was completely scarlet. Was he really going to talk about Sebastian like this? Talk about their relationship like this? "Well… okay, yeah, he is. Maybe that's just because I don't know what I'm doing," _or maybe it's because it feels really really good_, "but it seems to work out this way, and I definitely don't mind. And uh…" blushing again, dammit, "yeah. He's really good."

"He should be by now," said Romana. "The way the rumors have it, he's had half the White Squad in his bed by this point." Seeing David's shocked expression, she said, "Oh, I don't think that that's _true_, really. It's just that, well, he's not exactly known for his relationship stamina, you know? He's more into flings and stuff."

David felt a painful lump rising in his throat, and it was suddenly difficult to eat. He put the last of his bread down onto his plate and took a small sip of his drink to try and clear his throat, but it didn't seem to work.

"David?" said Romana softly. "It's okay. I'm sure it's different with you. Most of those rumors probably aren't even true, anyway. Hey. David? You okay?"

"We should get ready for afternoon patrol," said David, standing and picking up his dishes.

Romana looked distressed, but followed him quickly with her own things. David barely noticed.

It was true that Sebastian was very _very_ good with the sex. As though he'd had a lot of practice. David's fist clenched so hard on the plate that his knuckles turned white. It wasn't that he was jealous, really. But, well… after all, it was David's first time, and he didn't really have a lot of experience with these things, and maybe that's what Sebastian was used to? It was just, if Sebastian wasn't known for sticking with his relationships, then how in hell was David supposed to keep him? What did he have to offer, besides being hopelessly head-over-heels for the guy?

David realized as he walked out into the bright Canyon City afternoon that he was rubbing the corner of his new white uniform neurotically between his fingers. Angrily, he forced himself to stop. It wouldn't do him any good. He would talk to Sebastian about it. Well… okay, he would think of something to say, decide what the heck he actually wanted to ask, then talk to Sebastian about it.

He had hoped to be able to get Sebastian aside sometime later that afternoon, or at the evening meal, but no such luck. There was a council meeting that afternoon, and as Squad Leader, Sebastian had to attend. It ran late, too, and Sebastian didn't show up to eat dinner at all, not even late. Nor was he on the evening patrol.

David got more and more agitated as the night went on. He needed to talk to Sebastian, desperately needed some kind of reassurance. But of course, he had known it would be like this. Sebastian was the Squad Leader; his time was precious. He couldn't be wasting every minute comforting his nervous wreck of a boyfriend.

Boyfriend? Was that what he was? It sounded so stupid, even just thinking the word, but it reminded David that he and Sebastian hadn't really clarified the details of their relationship yet. Sebastian had made it quite clear that wanted to continue sleeping with David, but that meant little to nothing, especially if the rumors were true about how many lovers Sebastian had had. The only thing concrete that David had to go on was a few snippets of conversation he had overheard during his training when Sebastian had thought he was asleep. And Sebastian's words to his Skybax had been pretty confused, as though even Sebastian himself didn't know what he wanted.

After they bedded their Skybax down for the night (David marveling as usual as to how small his albino Pteranodon looked amidst the larger White Squad Skybax), David headed into Sebastian's room, closing the door softly behind him. It was still empty, of course; Sebastian was still at council. David sighed, sitting on Sebastian's bed, determined to wait up for him.

This proved easier said than done, however, and David found himself jolting awake when he felt another body join him on the bed.

"Hey," said Sebastian softly. "I didn't really want to wake you, but I thought you might want to change out of your uniform."

"Huh?" said David. Then, glancing down, "Oh." He had never changed out of his uniform after the evening patrol, and had fallen asleep in it on Sebastian's bed. With a yawn he got up and shucked it off thoughtlessly, grabbing his lighter sleeping clothes from on top of the trunk at the foot of the bed and pulling them on. When he sat back down on the bed, Sebastian immediately grabbed him, pulling him close and tucking David against his chest.

"Did you wait up for me?" he murmured. "You didn't have to. Sometimes these stupid meetings go on 'til dawn. I hate the bloody things, personally, but I suppose they're necessary. Or so I've been told. Repeatedly."

"I wanted to ask you something," said David. His mind was still slightly fogged from sleep, but as he regained consciousness, he also regained worry.

"Oh yeah?" said Sebastian amiably. "Shoot."

David took a deep breath, plucking up his courage. _Just say it,_ he thought. _You rehearsed it a million times this evening. Just say it._

"I don't want to offend you, but… how many lovers have you had?"

There was only a slight pause before Sebastian said, "Seven. Four men, three women. You would be number eight. Why? How many have you had?"

David took a few deep breaths, trying to tell himself that it was only seven. And seven was less than… that fifteen, or, or, twenty-six. Seven was nothing to worry about at all, of course it wasn't. "None," David said quietly. "You're my first."

This time the silence drew on, until finally David grew worried and looked up at Sebastian's expression. It looked faintly sad. David's heart leapt into his throat. Sebastian wouldn't possibly dump him for his lack of experience, right? He was happy with what he was getting. David's past wouldn't matter, right?

"I had always thought that your skittishness about our relationship was because of your weird hang-up about relationships with men," Sebastian said softly. "But… I was your first? Really? That night, after the test, that was your first time?"

"Yeah," David breathed. Then, nervously, "Is- is that a bad thing? You look worried."

"Oh, no," said Sebastian absently. "Just, I wish I had known beforehand. I would have appreciated it more. I mean, your first time and all. In hindsight, I probably would have been gentler, too." Sebastian looked down at him, a small smile quirking the edge of his lips. "Really? Your first? Not even with a woman?"

David shook his head. "I barely even dated at all before I got here. I've never even had a girlfriend before, let alone a lover."

Sebastian chuckled and leaned down to kiss his neck. "Let alone a boyfriend?" he murmured.

David started. "Is that… is that what we are?" he asked.

Sebastian pulled back once more. "Isn't that what you want us to be? I mean, I had assumed by the fact that you were willing to defy your family to be with me…"

"Of course!" said David quickly. "It's just…" he blushed. "I know I shouldn't listen to rumors, but I heard today that you've never had a steady, long-term relationship. That you… don't do permanence."

Sebastian shrugged. "I haven't, in the past." He stared into David's eyes. "But then, I've also never felt as strongly about anyone as I do about you."

David smiled shyly, amazed at the way Sebastian was consistently able to make his heart melt into a little puddle of goo. "That's good," he said, snuggling closer against Sebastian's chest.

"That's very good."

- THE END -

Oh God, that was hideous. Take me back.   
or  
Oh God, that was hideous. Let me complain to the author.


End file.
